Special thanks to our remarkable ICCA team- Whitney Cope, Ryan Carboneau, Adam Holcomb, Jim Arnold, Logan Nathan Snelick, Brent Sprinkle, Jonathan Zaffke and Joel Upole made a difference, so honored to be on this journey with each of them.

 ICCA is the global leader in adding value to Christian Coaches, don’t go it alone. Join thousands of other Christian Coaches who want to make a difference, visit  www.ICCAonline.net  to discover all the value of joining the team.

People have asked me the question, “What does it take to win at work and love?” dozens of times after a keynote speech or radio talk show. They wanted to know the action to take to build a successful life instead of being trapped in long term failure. It’s a great question, but since every person faces different challenges there isn’t a 100% specific answer that works for every person. A better approach is to focus on the real source of motivation by exploring the underlying motives.
When you discover the motive behind why you want to win at work you will be on track to shaping a strategic approach to speed toward accomplishing goals and avoiding distractions that lead to failure.

Here are some key coaching questions to ask yourself-

 
· Do you want to win at work to deepen your resume to advance your career?

· Does success at work mean making more money to bring home to your family?

· Does career success give you personal meaning and fulfillment?

· Does winning bring you a sense of satisfaction by proving you are the best?

Greater professional success usually gives a person much greater options in their personal life because increased income brings the flexibility to solve problems and control schedules by delegation. Outsourcing to save time and money is a wise use of resources.

However, working harder to gain greater self-esteem is a dangerous motivator because it takes major sacrifices of time and energy and can often become a ‘black hole’ of busy activity leading to workaholism.

Career burnout is from an attempt to fill up deep emotional insecurity through aggressive professional activity. Burnout won’t lead to professional success, and sadly is incredibly common among people who haven’t seen the importance of mapping out a realistic career coaching plan to win at work, without losing at home.

Finding the Energy for Career Success

So how do you stay motivated to achieve greater career success? Start by dealing with your core values, which can be identified through mapping out your internal motives, since motives lead to motivation. Here are key areas I use to inspire business professionals I’ve coached to stay focused to win at work while feeling greater energy and fulfillment in the process.

1) Insight

There is a scripture verse I was taught to pray every day, “If any many lacks wisdom let him ask God and it will be given to him.” (James 1:5). If you know that you don’t know the answers, then asking for God’s direction is a wise use of time. Generating insight by asking God to reveal your special gifts and natural ability, regardless of how much you may feel like you are struggling. Everyone has talent and ability at something. It takes insight to see it and then it takes courage to stay focused to light the fire of desire in your heart, especially when you may feel like giving up.

This career coaching approach could begin with some of the people close to you, like a marriage partner, family member or trusted friend because they already know so much about your personality, character, motivation and inner-drives. Asking many questions to gain greater insight will protect against impulsive choices, and insure a greater likelihood of success, so don’t be afraid to ask too many questions, but do be afraid to stay silent on this important element.

2) Interests

One you know your gifts, talents, abilities and skills, the next step is to see how those unique gifts could be transferred into something so incredibly interesting that you want to show up and learn more about it every day. There is an old saying that the curious are never bored, which is true. When you are inspired about pursuing something extremely interesting you lose all track of time because you find it so fascinating. Linking your interests with greater insight leads to the next part of the process to win at work.

3) Important

Once you get inspired to pursue the aspects of your job or career calling that are most interesting, the next element to stir up personal motivation is to discover what is most important. What is valuable to you? What has great meaning? What activities or organizations do believe strongly in? Everyone believes in something yet many of us haven’t taken time to explore and discover the core motives that fuel our motivation to create positive change. Now that you have mapped out the key areas that motivate people you are ready for the final stage.

4) Identity

When people figure who they are, and what they enjoy doing, they are on track to live out their purpose and have more fun in the process! Perhaps the huge success of many work related reality TV shows, (like American Idol), are because they reveal what many people secretly would like their daily work experience to be – a place that allows them to utilize their creative abilities in an environment that rewards taking big risks to achieve greater results.

It’s not hard to stay motivated when you know why you are going to work and it’s not hard to stay in the race to win either. In fact, it makes it easy to move from a fear of failure to moving forward with a new dedication to finish strong!

Now you have the basic career coaching strategies needed to win at work. Yet, even with these insights many people are afraid to try and often give up on the belief that they could have a better life by moving from what I call their ‘day job’ over to fully experiencing their ‘dream job’. Why do they lack career confidence?

Why are they still likely to fail? Here are the hidden motivations that most often lead to losing at work.

Fearful-

Times are tough and many people are afraid about what the economy will do in the future, in fact they can become so frozen in fear they are afraid to try. It’s normal to feel afraid, yet when you are overwhelmed with fear it can often lead to becoming indecisive and totally ‘zoning out.’ Since running away from reality feels easier than facing it for some people they chose to stick their head in the sand and completely deny what’s happening to their industry, (think about how Blockbuster Video failed to make strategic changes with their customers and eventually filed for bankruptcy protection, while competitor organizations like NetFlix and Red Box were thriving).

Some people do this in a passive way and just slowly sink, while others try to avoid reality by using substances or media to escape. Avoiding major change by hiding in fear will lead to a major crisis. Being aware of these dangers and opening up the conversation will help you to ask tough questions to protect yourself when heading toward a dangerous situation.

Frustrated-

This could include marriage partners or coworkers connected to people who are already losing at work, but it’s really more about you. Think about the times you were trying, but it’s just didn’t come together. You know you want to finish strong and have a meaningful career, but you feel like you lack the horsepower to really pull out in front of the crowd. When frustration builds up it puts you at great risk, because you face a tough choice. Finish with mediocre results and risk getting laid off or downsized to try again at the next job; or just check out to avoid feeling the pain of not performing to your potential and quit.

I’ve especially seen this with highly creative or bright coaching clients who procrastinated until the last minute and then couldn’t finish projects assigned to them. Their frustration often comes out as anger directed toward the closest person to them. It’s not fair, but it happens because they let the frustration take over, which blocks their ability to win at work.

Failing-

Sadly this type of unmotivated person is the easiest to spot because they checked out a long time ago. When someone has reached this level they are so unmotivated they give up on even trying at the most basic of tasks so their resume just reflects a ‘free fall’ down to zero. They totally and completely fail, which crushes their confidence and for many it kills the desire to try again; which leads many coaching clients to give up completely and just drop out on the idea that a meaningful career was ever even a possibility for them.
 They are too depleted to even believe that God’s promise spoken through the prophet Jeremiah, ‘Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.’ (Jeremiah 33:3) is still available to them.

I challenge you to face your fears, frustrations and the fear of failing with words of encouragement from God’s word. If you take time out daily to meditate on the Bible I believe it will guide you from fear to greater faith by identifying their core motives, and then translating that into the powerful motivation needed to win at work.

You are stronger than you think, but just in case you are feeling beat up by life, listen to the words of Moses in Exodus 14 as a final challenge when feeling unmotivated or scared about your career; “Do not be afraid. Stand still, and see the salvation of the LORD, which He will accomplish for you today…The LORD will fight for you!”

About the author- Dwight Bain is dedicated to helping people achieve greater results. He is the Executive Director of the International Christian Coaching Association, (ICCA www.ICCAonline.net ), a Certified Life Coach and Nationally Certified Counselor in practice since 1984 at the LifeWorks Group in Orlando, with a primary focus on solving crisis events and managing major change. Stay connected with him on social media at www.linkedin.com/in/dwightbain

The next ICCA webinar will be a powerful experience for those coaching women in one of the fastest growing segments of global coaching… Mom Coaching!  Here are the details of the next ICCA Webinar, FREE to all ICCA members!

 May 9, 2013    6:00 –8:00 p.m.

Mom Coaching:

Intentional and Relational Strategies to Help Women Thrive

Summary- The word “mom” conjures up warmth and comfort, yet many mothers today are overwhelmed and stressed beyond measure—particularly single, step, and foster/adoptive moms. The reality is that every mom needs a coach!

Coaching moms begins with understanding their world, their challenges, and the cultural messages about motherhood they hear every day. This Webinar will explore mothers’ greatest needs and offer core coaching principles for life change that have generational implications. You’ll learn how to build relationships and intentionally position yourself to engage and influence moms in their “language.” Tracey Eyster’s experience as a mom and two decades of mom coaching equip her with a unique perspective on what moms need most in a Christian coach.

Learning Objectives                Participants will:

1. Analyze current cultural messages about motherhood and assess the greatest needs of this population.
2. Identify the three core life principles a woman needs to find fulfillment as a mom and build into the life of her family.
3. Formulate methods to engage and influence moms through various coaching venues, including face-to-face relationships, social media, writing, etc.

Tracey Eyster, B.A., is Founder and Editor of MomLifeToday.com, an outreach of FamilyLife, which is a ministry of Cru/Campus Crusade for Christ. She is a speaker and the author of Be the Mom published by Focus on the Family and Tyndale. Tracey is a sought-after radio guest on programs such as FamilyLife Today, Focus on the Family, In The Market with Janet Parshall, Greg Smalley Marriage Matters and others.  She also serves as a ministry consultant in the area of social media and mom-life. Tracey has spent the past two decades mentoring, coaching and speaking into the lives of moms and also takes seminary courses through Reformed Theological Seminary. 

 Dwight Bain, M.A., is a pioneer in Christian coaching with more than 25 years’ experience. He is a Certified Life Coach who has worked with executives, pro athletes and business owners facing complex situations that required managing massive change. Dwight is a best-selling author, media personality and communicator who has worked with corporations like Disney, Toyota and Bank of America, as well as organizations like Florida Hospital, the American Heart Association and the U.S. Army. He currently serves as the executive director of ICCA, the leader in Christian coaching with more than 6,000 members worldwide.

Register for the Mom Coaching ICCA webinar here:

http://iccaonline.net/webinars/may-09-2013-mom-coaching-intentional-and-relational-strategies-to-help-women-thrive/

Hurry this global webinar will fill up fast!

Not a member of ICCA? Join the world’s largest coaching organization dedicated to equipping and empowering Christian Coaches here http://www.ICCAonline.net

“You may be good. You may even be better than everyone else. But without a coach you will never be as good as you could be.” – Andy Stanley

  by: Dwight Bain

Been to the circus and seen the elephants? The domesticated ones are amazing to watch, but what if an elephant were not tamed?  What would happen then?

Elephants are the largest living animals walking on earth at 13 feet tall weighing up to 15,000 pounds that can destroy about anything, (I saw a TV news story showing an elephant on rampage literally tossing cars around like small toys and chasing hundreds of people down the street… terrifying). Tamed elephants can add value, but a wild elephant goes wherever it wants, leaving a path of destruction in its path.

There is an old saying that some families have an elephant in the room; meaning there are some huge issues no one is willing to talk about. Yet, just like having something bigger than a mini-van in the living room, everyone can see it. Psychologists call this dysfunction, but if you are living through it you know it’s totally discouraging, disheartening and sometimes even dangerous… like a wild elephant.  

A dysfunctional family has three rules about the elephant in the room-

1. 1.      Don’t Talk
2. 2.      Don’t Think
3. 3.      Don’t Feel

Meaning there are usually a lot of secrets, silence and stress in dysfunctional families. It is more common than you think for families to ignore one another, or worse to blow up on each other.

How to get started? You have to name the beast.

Sometimes the ‘elephant’ is alcohol, sometimes it’s abusive or violent language, sometimes it can be a secret addiction like gambling, drugs or pornography, then other times it’s about money; major debt no one talks about, or takes action about until the moving trucks arrive before foreclosure and the cars are repossessed. A distant marriage that is slowly dying – but no one does anything about it can be a common ‘elephant.’ In-laws and family loyalty can be a massive elephant for some families – you know, this family member doesn’t like that in-law, so they make secret phone calls or stab them in the back to continually weaken the relationship. It can really get ugly… and can only get bigger until someone names the beast.

Family secrets happen a lot, but it doesn’t have to stay that way.  You can ‘tame’ the elephants by naming them, and beginning to talk about it; or make the decision to keep them locked up and never discuss it again but you can’t let them roam around your family wrecking everything in their path. Here is a better formula to solve family dysfunction and do what I call ‘taming the elephants.’  

This process is easy to remember, since it spells out the word, “TALK.” Here’s how it works:

T – Trust

A – Accept

L – Listen

K – Keep calm

First, you have to have a trusting relationship with the people in your family to talk openly about anything. If you have trust, you have everything and are better able to discuss problems openly. If there is low trust, or worse, you are in a relationship without trust then you need to call in a professional elephant tamer, (read as Counselor), since they can bring balance to the situation until trust can be rebuilt.

Once trust is built, the next step is to accept what your family member is saying. Remember, they have a perspective that you may have overlooked, and their opinion needs to be considered. Acceptance involves not attacking, criticizing or blaming a person for sharing their point of view. Which leads to the next stage in the process –

Listen. Simply stop and really listen to your family members. Listen to your friends. Start conversations about the ‘elephant’s in the room’ and really listen to what is being said. Family secrets cannot last long when you are talking openly and listening to each other. In fact, many problems are solved when you just block out time to listen to each other.

Of course family secrets are tough to talk about, so the final part of the process is to keep calm; especially if the topics are difficult to bring up, (like alcoholism, an affair or unplanned pregnancy). Keep calm and remember the goal, to tame the elephants of major problems to keep your home calm and safe.

When you tackle these issues directly and in a calm way you can work through anything. If things get a little rocky, reach out for help from others, but don’t just ignore the elephants. Families that talk openly together, and then prayerfully work through the issues move from living in a circus full of crazy elephants running around, to a peaceful zoological park. The big issues may still be there, but they are named, managed and observed from a safe distance and no one gets hurt.

You don’t have to lose your marriage or family over the elephant in the room, but you do have to TALK about it. There is a verse in Isaiah 55 that can get you started, “Come let us reason together.” If there are elephants running around your home I challenge you to seek a reasonable solution. Stop avoiding and start talking. You will like the results if you stick with it because the more you TALK the less likely you will get trampled in the process. Since family secrets get worse with time, get started and know God is challenging you to speak the truth in a loving way. (Ephesians 4:15)

If you’ve enjoyed this article and found it valuable, then if you would do me the favor of forwarding it to your friends, family and associates. If you want to subscribe to receive these important insights visit http://www.ICCAonline.net for easy and confidential email signup; since the best of all these life coaching insights are available at no cost as a gift from ICCA.

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Life Themes to Challenge Business Leaders:

I love to __________________________________________

I work best in situations that __________________________

I am at my best when around _________________________

God has designed me to do ___________________ for his Glory

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Drucker invented Management… here are his coaching strategies to manage Mid-Life:   

• What is my passion?
• How am I wired?
• Where do I belong?
• What do I believe?
• What will I do about what I believe?
• What are my values, my aspirations, my directions?
• What do I have to do, to learn, to change, in order to make myself capable of living up to my demands on myself and my expectations of life?

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